Victims, Soul Vampires & Quicksand

Don’t get caught up in the emotional quicksand of people who choose to remain victims.  They are trying to suck you in and indeed are soul vampires.

A number of years ago I had a dream that clearly pointed out to me one person who had taken up huge chunks of my time.  I was trying to “rescue her” when she simply refused to do any work on herself.  The dream helped me to understand that.  It seems I’m a slow learner, as I had to go through every season of the year before I learned my lesson. 

Here it is.

I was walking through my favorite forest one fine spring day and heard a call for help.  I quickly walked along the animal highway until I came to a nearby pool.  On the edge of the pool there was a wonderful woman floundering and yelling for help.  She was mired in the quicksand that I knew was in only one tiny part of the pond.  I reached down with my hands and pulled her out.  I explained the quicksand was only at that one small part of the pool.  She could avoid it by going into the pool at any other spot.

 

I was walking through my favorite forest one fine summer day and heard a call for help.  I quickly walked along the animal highway until I came to a nearby pool.  On the edge of the pool there was a lovely lady floundering and yelling for help.  She was mired in the quicksand that I knew was in only one tiny part of the pond.  I gave her the tools of branches so she could pull herself out.  I explained the quicksand was only at that one small part of the pool.  She could avoid it by going into the pool at any other spot.

 

I was walking through my favorite forest one fine autumn day and heard a call for help.  I quickly walked along the animal highway until I came to a nearby pool.  On the edge of the pool there was the same adult woman floundering and yelling for help.  She was mired in the quicksand that I knew was in only one tiny part of the pond.  I taught her to use the tools of branches so she could pull herself out and avoid going near the quicksand.  I explained the quicksand was only at that one small part of the pool.  She could avoid it by going into the pool at any other spot.

 

I was walking through my favorite forest one fine winter day and heard a call for help.  I quickly walked along the animal highway until I came to a nearby pool.  On the edge of the pool there was the same silly woman floundering and yelling for help.  She was mired in the quicksand that I knew was in only one tiny part of the pond.  She was cold, she was frightened as she had not learned to go near the quicksand.  I told her to learn her lessons and walked away.  I didn’t feel I needed to go round the yearly circle rescuing  a person who truly did not want to be rescued because she refused to use her own knowingness and skills.

Reflection Questions:

1.  Are you a rescuer?

2.  Are you a victim?

3.  Why did you choose either of those roles in life?

4.  How are you going to choose to change?

Be wary of the energy you are putting out there.  Are you attracting angels to your world or soul vampires?

Magical Mother’s Day Angels!

Celebrate the feminine side of you!  Each of us needs a safe person to talk to.  That’s the Mother archetype.  Mothering is something we all do, whether we are men or women.  We provide a Sacred Safe Place to others where they can come and whisper or weep about their pain.  Sometimes they come and we are just silent with them.  That’s okay for that is what they need at that moment in time. 

 

I want to thank each and every one of you for allowing your feminine side to come through to the people you treasure in your life.  We all have a very basic need of belonging to a tribe. We all NEED just one person who truly does care about our well being and who does not judge us.  You allow us to just be our true selves. You accept that it’s okay for “I AM me”.   

Friends are Pot of Gold

Friends are Pot of Gold

 

 I know those of you who visit my blog are just those kinds of people. I’m grateful you are on this earth and in our world.  Blessings to you all!  May you ride a magic carpet, sliding down rainbows to find the pot of gold at the bottom.  That true pot of gold is someone who accepts us for who we truly are!

 

A special Happy Mother’s Day to Jo who is grandmother to many she has adopted and my non judgmental mother!   Hooray Mum, this is your special day …  I’m so proud of you in your empowerment of yourself!  You are a role model for all of us who are blessed to know you. 

 

 

A mother understands what a child does not say.

 

Happy Mother’s Dance with angels and fairies in the Moonlight!

Wee!  Slide down a rainbow on your magic carpet!

 

Let’s increase the Love and vibrant energy of the planet!

Hugs and love from the Universe.

 

 

For more information on dealing with the energy around life, love and relationships, visit my blog at  www.astromoon.wordpress.com.  If you are on a spiritual journey, you might also want to explore my website at www.moonwomenspirituality.com.

What Tribe do you Belong to?

 A 30 year old man died last night by his own hand.  It doesn’t matter how he chose to commit suicide.    He lived only for his drugs and partying.  Did he discover that his friends made through drugs and alcohol were shallow friendships?  We will never know.  He had no sense of purpose for the last decade of his life.  He had no true sense of belonging. 

 

Self actualize!

Self actualize!

A sense of belonging is a human fundamental emotional need.  We all have a need to feel needed by someone else, even if it is one single person.  That person validates us and makes us feel special.  We can then go forward with living a life on purpose. 

 

 

 

I am sad that this young man choose this route.  I have worked extensively with teens who did not complete suicide.  In all cases but one we were able to give them a sense of belonging to the tribe or to greater community.  But you see it ultimately is not up to any one of us to establish that sense of belonging for others.  They have to choose to belong to the tribe themselves.  They have to feel needed.

 

I am sad for this young man’s family whom I personally know.  They will live the rest of their lives questioning where they went wrong.  They didn’t do anything wrong.  It was his choice.  At any moment he could have chosen a different path, but he never took the multitude of opportunities that came his way. 

 

Love life!

Love life!

Frankly, I get angry at people who complete suicide.  They truly are the ultimate in being selfish.  They are not up to the challenge of grabbing onto the roller coaster ride of life.  They leave behind a legacy of guilt and tears in the people they supposedly love.  I have heard far too often from friends and family of suiciders.  Years later, the ones left behind feel guilty at not having done something. 

 

 

 

Hear this message loud and clear.  There is nothing you could have done.  It is a personal choice to opt out of life.  They have chosen to be the walking dead to begin with.  They have not truly been alive for some time.  That totally is their choice. Their choice is a permanent fix to a temporary problem.  The person who opts out of life by suicide usually does not want help.  The help is everywhere today.  They are too selfish to get it.  They fear more than they love life or love themselves. 

 

 

Reflection Questions! 

  1.  What tribes to do you belong to?
  2. What purpose do you have for living your life?
  3. How do you give to your community?
  4. What are at least four things you want to accomplish yet?

 

Affirmations and Intentions:  I intend to be grateful for living a life on purpose.

Bullies are Sociopaths & Psychopaths

Bullies in the Hood?  Bullies in your office?  Bullies in your family? Take back your Sacred Space.  Take back your Neighborhood! Use your mind-body-spirit connection to rid your world of these toxic bugs.  They are like pesky mosquitoes everywhere.  Visualize them as being a pesky mosquito and “slap” them mentally, emotionally and spiritually.    

 

 

I have worked with some pretty mean bullies in my lifetime.  The psychological literature shows that bullies are frequently our bosses.  They are found in every family.  They are found in every political party.  They are found in every neighborhood.  They are found in every club and organization.

 

 

Let me explain what their behavior means in psychological terms.  According to the DSMIV, they are officially one of two names either sociopaths or psychopaths.  They exhibit psychopathological behavior.  Yes, I know, you thought those were the people in jail who committed some unspeakable crime.  They too are sociopaths who have committed a crime they got caught for.  There are also sociopaths who frequently are white color workers or like I said, they live and breathe everywhere.  They clearly exhibit the same types of emotional and behavioral patterns that have put the others behind bars.  Like prisoners, they are prisoners within their own skin because of their choices. Some we call psychic vampires or soul vampires.  We totally feel drained when we are in their presence.  I have written about that earlier in this blog.

 

 

 

Nobody has every liked them since they were kids.  They are totally insecure.  Let me explain.  All of us want attention when we are children.  If we can’t get it in a positive way, then we become poorly behaved and get that attention in a negative way.  Take a look at any adorable 2 year old.  If they don’t get loving attention, they start screaming just so that someone will pay attention to them and their emotions.  So a bully is self-created by their own choice of how to act!

 

 

When it goes on for a long time, they learn the only way they can get attention from their peers is through bullying and intimidation.  They use manipulation to get others to bend to their will.  They use this energy of fear tactics because it is the only way they have any personal power.  The other way they get power is to get into a position of authority.  Then what absolute horrors they bring to all our lives. 

 

 

So what can we do about it?  One strategy I have already told you about.  Visualize and don’t run away.  Face them head on.  You see bullies do not like to be confronted.  They don’t know what to do if someone isn’t screaming or shouting back.  If you remain calm, cool and collected, they are totally unsure of themselves.  They feed off fear energy. 

 

 

Conversely, another more powerful strategy  is you can be an angel, but a firm angel.  First do the visualization so that you are changing the energy around you.  You’ll be giggling inside at least.  Then surround yourself with a golden colored cocoon so their negative energy won’t hurt you.  Next send them loving energy.  Wrap them tightly in warm soothing hugs and send them love energy.  That’s truly what they crave.  But you see, they do not love themselves.  If a person does not love themselves, they are incapable of ever loving anyone else.  We have to surround them in a multisensory way with love energy.  If you are an angel of light, you will do what you can to help this impoverished soul.  They are in such emotional pain. 

 

 

Personally, I feel sorry for the choices they have made for themselves during their life’s journey.  At any moment in time, these bullies can choose to change their own energy.  They too can choose to begin loving themselves.  This in turn will help them to loving others in a healthy way.  Be an angel.  Help them to change their energy if you are a healer and they want to change their energy.  These bullies are truly in their own personal self-created hell. 

 

Affirmations and Intentions:  I intend to teach others to change their attitudes when they are ready to love themselves.

 

 

Let’s increase the Love and vibrant energy of the planet!

Hugs and love from the Universe.

 

 

For more information on dealing with the energy around life, love and relationships, visit my blog at  www.astromoon.wordpress.com.  If you are on a spiritual journey, you might also want to explore my website at www.moonwomenspirituality.com. 

 [M. Scott Peck, psychiatrist wrote his book, People of the Lie, explaining this in more depth.]

Love Your Extended Family

My extended family are angels in my life.  Each one is a precious gem whom I have carefully chosen for one reason or another.  I love each one and they have helped grow that love immensely over time.  Some of these angel jewels have been in my life for decades.  Others have come in more recently.  Each one has helped my heart to grow bigger.  Each has helped my heart to vibrate stronger with the golden love they give back to me.   

 

 

I was cleaning out the debris and deleting some of the people who are on my friends list who have been inactive for over 90 days.  In other words, they no longer can access me so easily.  I thought, ah, if life were only that easy to delete some of our garbage family members.  You know what?  It is that simple!  Interestingly I heard from three of my extended family members lamenting about their bio-family yesterday.  That’s not surprising given the double water energy of the Pisces Sun and Pisces Moon.  So here’s my response to one of them whom I dearly love. 

 

 

Out of sight, out of mind, out of my life! … Delete and hit the delete button in your heart!  You see, people like your sister just are so into themselves that they don’t really give a damn about you and others.  Yet look at all the others that you care about.  Those folks sincerely return your feelings back to you full circle. The ones you choose to have part of your extended family are the ones who truly care about your well being.  They care about what happens in your world.

 

 

So not only did I delete people from blog world, but also I went in and deleted people from my “family” email whom I never hear from, either verbally or in person, or through email.  They are unworthy of my love and my attention because they are apathetic about life.  Their energy must be very low vibrationally.  They certainly no longer vibrate in my world. Excuse me, but why flog a dead horse?

 

 

I want people who choose to live and who choose to love whole heartedly in my world.  I want people in my world who choose to live their lives on purpose.  They dedicate themselves to growing and evolving. They choose to make the world a better place for all of us to be. I want people in my world who truly do contribute love to the world and who sincerely care.  I choose to surround myself with people who vibrate at a higher energy level of truly loving in their hearts.   Their actions and their deliberate communication efforts show that what I do and what happens to me, matters in their hearts.

 

 

Hence my extended family have moved into my inner circle of caring and loving.  They have become my chosen sisters and brothers . in my web of life  They are the ones I will expend my energy on.  They are the ones who bring chats of happiness and joy to my heart.  These are the people to whom I will send my golden trinkets and treasures of my memories of day-to-day life.  These are the people I choose to share the rest of my life with.  These are the people who sincerely do care whether I live, whether I breathe, whether I thrive or not. 

 

 

Now I have to tell you I was born into a deeply Christian family.  So now you know the rest of the story as well.  Nope, I have no great love for those who grace the church doors professing to be so pure in their Christian hearts.  Their actions totally belie their churchy words on Sundays.  I suspect the same holds true for every other religion, so religion has little to do with it.  Instead I view these “no-lifers” biological family members as being cancerous energy in my heart and in my soul.  So I just used the available Pluto energy and burned them out of my life and heart forever.  

 

 

So my dear extended family member, just hit the delete button in your heart.  Instead of yearning for people from the past who are not worthy of your heart energy, hit delete!  Look to the people who love you NOW and embrace their energy whole heartedly.  Your life, your love, your heart and your soul are worthy of you surrounding yourself totally with love and loving people.  They are the ones you have been looking for approval from all your life.  They are the ones who will move forward into a loving future with you.  Allow yourself to love in the NOW.   Choose those who will love you for all your soul’s being in their future.  I love you and am grateful you are in my life, my angel.

 

Let’s increase the Love and vibrant energy of the planet!

Hugs and love from the Universe.

 

Bullies and Alternative Healing

The biggest tournament of the year was about to happen and I called her into my office and told her she was not allowed to go.  She was devastated and of course went to her parents lamenting the fact that this was to be her last basketball game in that K-9 school and she was not allowed to attend.  Her mother was one of my favorite staff members.  Her father walked me “down the aisle” when we got married 5 years ago.  So I’m very close to the family.  This girl is like looking myself in the mirror at the same age since she is also a Taurus and born 2 days after me.  

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

The egg is a seed.  To me a seed stands for new beginnings of some kind.  In my last year of teaching and being school administrator, bullying was a real issue. The 14 year old star of our girls’ basketball team was being a bully.  Her coach complained about her behavior at practice.  Her teammates tearfully came to me for counseling when her comments ripped them to shreds emotionally. 

 

 

 

 

 

However, she had become a bully not only to her teammates and to her coach, but also to other kids in the school.  Understand this is a gal who is beautiful, smart and a leader.  But she had become full of herself and was arrogant.  I knew that somehow I had to nip this behavior in the bud or she would be horrid as an adult. 

 

Needless to say, her father called me at home that night saying his daughter was just sobbing her heart out and Daddy wanted to fix it for his eldest child.  I listened and told him I would deal with her in the morning, but made no promises.  On my 45 minute drive to school I prayed to God to give me a solution since it was beyond me.  Instantly the answer came to have the girl go and buy a dozen eggs before I did a counseling session with her on this issue. 

 

When she brought me the eggs, I had her write the names of each of her team mates on the each egg.  Then I had her write her coach’s’ and the names of her two sisters.  So now each egg had a name on it.  She picked up each egg in turn and told that person how she truly felt about them and what she cherished about them.

I then had her take each egg, one at a time and put it on the floor and stomp on it.  When she was through with all 12 eggs, I told her she had to pick up each individual egg and yolk and return it just the way she found it.  Of course this is impossible. 

 

 

I then told her that is what she does with each person she belittles and puts down.  She breaks their spirit with her words.  They are never returned whole in the same state at which she found them.  It mixes them up and they are shattered.  I asked her how she felt towards each of these people whom I know she loves.  When she told me she was devastated by her behavior, I then had her clean up her yellow yolky mess.  She then had to go and find each person whose name was on an egg and apologize to them for her behavior. She was to tell them how much she valued their friendship and how much she loved them.  Here was the condition.  If they accepted her apology with grace and forgiveness, she got to go to the tournament.  She was not to tell her friends that.  She was crying, I was crying for the soul of this young chick. 

 

It was a lesson well learned.  Yes, she got to go to the tournament.  When she went to high school, she became a phenomenal leader, with compassion and understanding.  Today, I’ve very proud of the young adult woman she has turned out to be.  She is a leader in her small community.  She is a valuable contributing member to her peers.  She even likes herself now and no longer feels the need to bully. 

 

 

You see, bullies are the most insecure people in the world.  When we confront them, it takes away their power.  If there is a bully in your life today, take the seed of this idea.  Create a new beginning for yourself and for your life.  Confront your fear and do not let them run over you.  Be an angel for your sake and theirs and confront them with their behavior.

 

Sometimes we have to use the seeds of tough love to have the result of a lovely caring and compassionate person.  Did I know how this was going to turn out?  Not at all.  But God gave me a clear message and I trusted that message.

 

Take the first step in faith.

You don’t have to see the whole staircase,

just take the first step.

(Martin Luther King Jr.)

 

 

I love my journey into myself.  Do you love your journey?  If not, then do the work to empower yourself!  If you found this helpful, then visit my website www.moonwomenspirituality.com.  If your want information on how the daily Moon and Sun energy emotionally affects you, your love and your relationships, visit my astrology blog at www.astromoon.wordpress.com

Thanksgiving Gratitude

Gratitude Attitude

Gratitude Attitude

 Attitude of Gratitude.  That’s what we all should have every day.  Have you stopped to count your blessings today?  It’s Thanksgiving Day in Canada.  Many people will stop and give thanks today.  But then, they leave it for another 365 days before they think to thank God, Creator, the Universe, their higher power, for the blessings that have manifested in their lives.  Hello!  The Law of Attraction tells us that unless you are thankful and grateful for the things you receive, the energy stops.  So be wise and remember to be grateful every day.  Empower yourself!

 

 

 

 

Earth footprint

Earth footprint

 

Having me in the family is not easy on my family and closest friends.  I’m always trying to raise the consciousness level of everyone.  My extended family and friends are always my guinea pigs before I tried things out on either my students or my staff or on my clients whom I saw for counseling.  I’m grateful for their willingness to go along with my experiments as I tried to figure out what would work the best for kids and adults alike.  I’m very grateful for their feedback.  Today some of those strategies are helping some of you.

 

 

 

One of the memorable things I did with a large Thanksgiving family gathering one year is something I want to share with you.  Many of my family and extended family are now using this with their family and friends on a more regular basis.  After our delicious meal, we moved our chairs around in a circle so we could easily see one another.  We went around the circle and each person had the opportunity to say why they were grateful for the day.  Some of the teens had never stopped to think about being grateful before and they actually got quite teary.  Hooray!  We touched their hearts and they spoke sincerely to the adults about why they were grateful to different people in the circle.   We gave them the opportunity to say what was in their hearts, but never spoken.  What a fabulous gift that is!

Reflection Questions

1.  Make a list of 10 people you are grateful for having in your life.

2.  Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for having in your life.

3.  Who have you told lately that you are thankful for something they have done?

4.  Are you grateful for the talents and skills you have?

 

 

Affirmation:  I am grateful for ____ because s/he makes me feel _____.

 

 

Thanksgiving comes to us out of the prehistoric dimness,

universal to all ages and all faiths.

At whatever straws we must grasp,

there is always a time for gratitude and new beginnings.

(J. Robert Moskin)

 

I love my journey into myself.  Do you love your journey?  If not, then do the work to empower yourself!  If you found this helpful, then visit my website www.moonwomenspirituality.com.  If your want information on how the daily Moon and Sun energy emotionally affects you, your love and your relationships, visit my astrology blog at www.astromoon.wordpress.com