A 30 year old man died last night by his own hand. It doesn’t matter how he chose to commit suicide. He lived only for his drugs and partying. Did he discover that his friends made through drugs and alcohol were shallow friendships? We will never know. He had no sense of purpose for the last decade of his life. He had no true sense of belonging.
A sense of belonging is a human fundamental emotional need. We all have a need to feel needed by someone else, even if it is one single person. That person validates us and makes us feel special. We can then go forward with living a life on purpose.
I am sad that this young man choose this route. I have worked extensively with teens who did not complete suicide. In all cases but one we were able to give them a sense of belonging to the tribe or to greater community. But you see it ultimately is not up to any one of us to establish that sense of belonging for others. They have to choose to belong to the tribe themselves. They have to feel needed.
I am sad for this young man’s family whom I personally know. They will live the rest of their lives questioning where they went wrong. They didn’t do anything wrong. It was his choice. At any moment he could have chosen a different path, but he never took the multitude of opportunities that came his way.
Frankly, I get angry at people who complete suicide. They truly are the ultimate in being selfish. They are not up to the challenge of grabbing onto the roller coaster ride of life. They leave behind a legacy of guilt and tears in the people they supposedly love. I have heard far too often from friends and family of suiciders. Years later, the ones left behind feel guilty at not having done something.
Hear this message loud and clear. There is nothing you could have done. It is a personal choice to opt out of life. They have chosen to be the walking dead to begin with. They have not truly been alive for some time. That totally is their choice. Their choice is a permanent fix to a temporary problem. The person who opts out of life by suicide usually does not want help. The help is everywhere today. They are too selfish to get it. They fear more than they love life or love themselves.
- What tribes to do you belong to?
- What purpose do you have for living your life?
- How do you give to your community?
- What are at least four things you want to accomplish yet?
Affirmations and Intentions: I intend to be grateful for living a life on purpose.